I eat a lot of Questionable Things, with gravy on ’em and stuff, so I thought I maybe should find some ways to improve my diet, and to that end, I have been eating a lot of those “Energy Bar” CLIF® bar [1] things lately, in order to be Healthy, you know? I mean, it’s like this, I thought instead of a greasy baconeggandcheese every morning from the place on the corner, I would instead enjoy CLIF® bar at my desk (along with two giant glasses of water, which is also Healthy, but mostly because otherwise a goddamn CLIF® bar will choke you out because they are so compacted with Energy or Nutrients or whatever), so I went to the “Price Club,” which is always on a road called “Price Club Drive” or else it is a numbered road, like “Route 582” and you are right, going to a “Price Club” sounds like a Bad Idea in terms of cultivating Sensible Eating habits, because, stereotypically, a lot of the customers at these “Price Club” places are Obese, and also you walk around and there are all these “free samples” stands all over the place with hair-net ladies in aprons working electric skillets and frying stuff and announcing what they are handing out, and hey, it’s Free Samples, so you start walking faster toward one with your oversized shopping cart and then you just get your nose open and you are a sightless animal wheeling around the aisles, reacting only to scent and sound of stuff frying, headed toward “Hello, try some Chicken Quesadilla” and “Hey Turkey Pot Roast,” which you think might be good for you almost, or at least way-less bad than regular cancer-meat pot roast since it’s made out of Turkey